


Concerns

by sublime42



Category: Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, Nervous Ichabod, Weight Gain, post-Sleepy Hollow, thin to average
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27671471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sublime42/pseuds/sublime42
Summary: Ichabod has joined a detective agency and put on some weight. He worries Katrina might not be attracted to him anymore.
Relationships: Ichabod Crane/Katrina Van Tassel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Concerns

If the incident in Sleepy Hollow had taught Ichabod anything, it was that life was short and nothing was guaranteed, and that he ought to be doing what he enjoyed. It was with that in mind that he resigned from his constable position in New York upon his return, and joined a small office as a private detective.

The firm was run by a man named Mr. Laurens, and there were three other men under his direction. His colleagues, all around his age or younger, had quickly accepted him into their fold, despite his awkwardness, and he found for the first time that he had legitimate friends. 

Most of their work was on behalf of upper class wives, thinking their husbands might be cheating, but Ichabod prefered the dirtier cases. The ones that might truly help the masses, like the case where he’d gone undercover to investigate allegations of severe abuse at a local sanitorium, only to find that it was, in fact, occurring. He and Mr. Laurens had gotten the place partially shut down, and the patients transferred to somewhere more reputable, no doubt saving lives in the process. 

And while Ichabod was often walking the streets, doing his job on foot, he also spent a good deal of time in the office itself, going through documents and thinking through the motivations of the people he was investigating.

That part could be tedious, but the pay was good - which he needed, what with Katrina and Masbeth to support, and a child on the way - and overall he felt like he was making a difference, and that his colleagues actually listened to his suggestions. What more could he ask for?

~~~

Every day, Katrina would make Ichabod breakfast and packed him lunch. It was never anything fancy, but enough to get him through the day. Had he stuck with what she’d given him, he supposed that his current problem would not have occurred.

Though, the others at work were also to blame. With two of his colleagues being single, and young with fast metabolisms, they had a preference for cheap street food, which they bought in large quantities to the office. They’d eat their fill and offer the rest up to whoever wanted it, and Ichabod, knowing that the food would go to waste otherwise, usually took whatever looked good.

He didn’t think much of it at first. His life was physical, he walked almost everywhere and even the smallest chores required effort. And he’d always been so small, anyway. He assumed that the extra food might simply give him more energy.

It did, for a while. He felt like he could walk further, work longer hours. He often didn’t - it meant a lot to Katrina for him to have dinner with them each night - but the extra boost was appreciated.

It was around two months after starting at the agency that he began to notice any difference. His clothes, which he was always meticulous about, were starting to get harder to button. He could do it, but it wasn’t coming as easily. But, it was winter, and he wore a thick coat much of the time, so he was able to cover it with that. And there’d been an interesting case, anyway. One with a son whose sister thought he may be poisoning their mother to get her inheritance. And of course there was Katrina, who was four months along, now. With so much going on, the trivial matter of clothing was quickly forgotten. Ichabod got on with his life, and with his job, and put it out of mind.

~~~

It was late winter when Katrina hit her six month mark, and Ichabod was starting to get nervous. While he knew he would love their child, he worried as to whether he would be a good enough father. He wasn’t strong, or tough like many men. If he had a son, would he be a good example? The world was a harsh one, and Ichabod felt that they only just survived. A daughter might be easier. He was more emotional, softer, and he would have an easier time relating.

At home, he tended to worry quietly in his study. At work, he often found himself going for whatever food was brought in, and eating it as he sat at his desk and considered the future. Having something in his stomach somehow calmed him, made the future look slightly brighter somehow, and he would walk home full enough to be comfortable for the evening. Of course, he would eat dinner anyway, just to make his wife happy. 

And so a month later, when he found he couldn’t button his vest at all, and that his pants were nearly unusable, it came as quite a shock.

His first thought was to blame Katrina - had she sent their wash somewhere new, perhaps? - but then he remembered his previous issues, and he began to think it over. He _had_ been indulging a bit lately, and he supposed it had caught up with him. It was embarrassing, really and he felt himself blushing at the realization. 

He sat on his bed, in his undergarments, thinking the situation over. There was the problem of what he could wear to work, and the notion that he and Katrina hadn’t been intimate in a few months as well. Had his changed appearance played a role in it?

Frowning, Ichabod stood up to look in the mirror. His arms and legs were still very slender; most of the weight had gone to his stomach and chest, making him wider with a little belly. He wasn’t huge. He supposed he would be considered average, but seeing as how thin he’d been his entire life, it was a drastic change.

His face had changed as well. He’d always had such high cheekbones, and they were still there, but under layers, now. He supposed that it was a small miracle that he hadn’t grown a double chin. He sighed, hating it all, hating himself for allowing this to happen.

And Katrina - why hadn’t she brought it up? Or Masbeth? Or anyone, really? Perhaps to save his feelings? 

Ichabod shook his head. He had to focus. Find something to wear, tell work he needed the day to himself, and get himself some new clothing. He dug through the few outfits he had before finding a waistcoat that had always been slightly bigger on him. He managed to get it closed, thankfully, and used a piece of string to do up his pants. 

He skipped breakfast that morning, not hungry after his recent discovery, and marched out the door, leaving Katrina and Masbeth confused as he left.

~~~

It’d cost a decent amount to get new outfits. He’d chosen three, but felt guilty about the expense. It was money that could be put towards their child’s future needs, after all, but he wouldn’t be able to work if he didn’t have clothes, and perhaps he could pass them on once he lost the weight. They were only temporary, after all.

That was what he’d decided that morning. He’d start being stricter, eat only two or three meals a day, no snacking in between. 

Yet by noon, his resolve was wearing thin. Months of eating larger amounts had made his body accustomed to more fuel, and his stomach had started growling loudly. 

Well, it would go back to normal soon. He sat down on a bench in the park and ate the food that Katrina had prepared for him, and watched the children playing in the snow. He supposed that in a year’s time, he might be taking his son or daughter there, to see the snow and to walk around. He smiled as he thought of the names they’d picked out. Edward, if it were a boy, and Katherine, if it were a girl. Would they have dark hair or light hair, like Katrina’s? He hoped they favored her; she was perfectly beautiful to him, after all.

He finished his meal, feeling very unsatisfied by the amount, but pushed the thought away. He had some more errands to attend to, and he wanted to get them done so he could get back home.

~~~

Ichabod walked back into their apartment later in the afternoon, feeling slightly frustrated. He’d gone to the market for Katrina, wanting to spare her the job as she was tired lately, and had picked up enough food to last two days. Yet he still felt hungry, and as hard as he tried, he couldn’t get it out of his mind.

He took off his coat, placed the food in the kitchen and walked into their study. Katrina sat near Masbeth, reading to him from a book. The boy had been mostly illiterate, and she’d make it her job to teach him the basics of reading and writing. Both of them smiled when they saw him.

“Ichabod! You’ve returned early!” Katrina greeted him. She pulled herself up and walked towards him, kissing his cheek. 

Her demeanor instantly cheered him. 

“Yes, I took the day for myself. I went to the market, too, so you won’t have to.”

Katrina grinned.

“You’re so kind. Such a good man I’ve married.”

Ichabod smiled at her and kissed her back.

“Go rest,” Katrina urged him. “I’ll prepare some tea and get started on dinner.” She shooed him away.

Well, he wasn’t about to argue with that. He headed to the canape* and took a seat near Masbeth.

~~~

Hungry as he was, Ichabod was determined to reel himself in. He ate one plate of food at dinner, and didn’t reach for more, and turned Katrina down when she’d offered it. In hindsight, he wished he’d taken her up on it, because as he lay in bed that night, his stomach growling, he doubted he would get much sleep.

He’d be alright, he told himself. It hopefully wouldn’t take long to lose the weight, perhaps by the time the child was born, he would be back to normal, and he and Katrina could resume relations and all would be well. Though she still doted on him, and kissed him and hugged him, the lack of anything more made him nervous and he didn’t want her to leave over something so easily corrected. Katrina turned men’s heads effortlessly, surely she could find a more attractive lover if she wanted.

He was lost in his thoughts on this when he felt Katrina shift next to him.

“Can’t sleep?” She asked, leaning on her side.

“Hm?” He turned to look at her.

“I can hear you thinking,” she joked. “And I can hear your stomach growling.” She placed a hand on his belly and smiled at him. 

“Oh, I-” He shifted away, not wanting her to touch him, not when he was like this. “-Sorry.”

He sat up, knees drawn to his chest, looking at her nervously.

Now Katrina was very confused. She forced herself up, something not easy to do in her state.

“What’s wrong, Ichabod?”

“N-nothing. Nothing to worry about, my dear.” He forced a smile, “Don’t worry about me.”

Katrina glared at him.

“How can I not? First you won’t eat the food I’ve made, and you rush from our home, and then you lie in bed at night hungry, and now you won’t let me touch you.”

Ichabod’s shoulders slumped.

“Katrina, it is nothing you’ve done… rather, it’s due to my lack of care over…” he sighed, having a hard time getting his point across. “I don’t want you to have to pretend to be attracted to me. I’ll lose it soon enough, but I do wish you’d mentioned it earlier.”

Katrina raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. I’m very attracted to you.”

“This!” Ichabod took her hand, and held it to his stomach. “Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed. I’ve gotten… soft… working at the agency, and it’s my fault, and I know it. But I’ll be right back to normal soon enough, so there’s no need to worry -”

“I’m not worried,” Katrina cut him off. She looked as if she wanted to laugh, but was holding it back. “And you don’t have to change anything.”

“B-but-” Ichabod started, “But we’ve not… It’s been months, Katrina! And it… it must be because of this,” he motioned to himself. 

Katrina shook her head and chuckled.

“I’m sorry for laughing, but… truthfully, I find it sweet. I like it.” She rested her hand on his stomach gently, then moved it up his chest, until it rested on his cheek. “You look good like this. Sturdier. As if the wind won’t blow you away. That is why I hadn’t mentioned it. As for the intimacy… well, that is due to our child. As you know, she makes me very uncomfortable much of the time -”

“She?” Ichabod asked.

Katrina smiled.

“I think it’s a she. And she’s always moving, and I feel so heavy, and tired. I should have explained it more, but I’ve not wanted to burden you. It has nothing to do with you. I still want you and I always will. Thin, or average, anyway you are is how I want you.”

Ichabod blinked, feeling a huge sense of relief. 

“Truly?” He asked, just to be sure.

“Truly,” Katrina answered. She leaned in and kissed him, once on the lips and once on the forehead. “You’re always perfect to me.”

“And you to me, my dear,” Ichabod whispered.

He lay for a bit, his head rested against her belly, feeling the child kick. She played with his hair a while, until his stomach growling interrupted the moment once again.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, sitting back up.

“Don’t be. An easy thing to fix, that.” Katrina got up and returned a few moments later, a plate in hand. She’d brought him some bread and water.

“Thank you,” he told her, taking it from her. 

“You’re welcome. And don’t starve yourself tomorrow, please. Midnight room service isn’t my specialty.”

“I won’t, I promise,” Ichabod agreed.

~~~

Katherine Crane was born two months later. Ichabod still wasn’t back in his old clothes, but he didn’t care. He had more important things to concern himself with. 

**Author's Note:**

> * A canape is an 18th century couch. I felt weird using that word but i guess that is what they would have called it at the time.


End file.
